Interesting, isn’t it? You never realize that the word listen is made up of the same letters as silent—until you actually pause long enough to think about it.
If you’re anything like me, you love to talk. You can strike up conversations with complete strangers, fill the silence with your stories, and walk away without knowing a single detail about the other person—not even their name. For years, you may have mistaken talking for connecting, when in truth, connection happens when you listen.
Stephen R. Covey, in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, once said
“Most people don’t listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”
That was me to the core. I interrupted, jumped ahead, and rushed to get my point across. I wasn’t listening to connect—I was listening to perform.
But life has a way of teaching you lessons in the most unexpected places. Marriage to someone whose first language isn’t your own and living in countries where English is not the primary tongue forces you to listen differently. You learn to hear with patience. You pay attention to tone, pauses, and body language. Additionally, you discover that listening is more than hearing words—it’s stepping into another person’s world.
And here’s the truth: when you embrace listening as a skill, you unlock deeper relationships, richer experiences, and more authentic connections—whether at home, in business, or while traveling.
“You cannot truly listen to anyone and do anything else at the same time.” – M. Scott Peck
You might think you’re a good multitasker, but listening is the one thing you cannot do while dividing your attention. My husband taught me that lesson early on. Unlike me, he’s naturally taciturn. When we first started video calling, he wanted our conversations to have his full attention. No distractions. No background noise. And he expected the same from me. If I were busy or surrounded by people, he would say, “Call me back when you’re free.”
At first, I thought it was just his preference. Later, I realized that my rapid speech and differences in English required his undivided attention. For him, listening wasn’t passive—it was active, intentional, and respectful.
I’ve always been a fast talker. Back in the States, when I gave speeches at Toastmasters, my evaluators would constantly remind me to slow down. But now, living in Ghana, slowing down isn’t just a suggestion—it’s a necessity. To be understood, I have to enunciate carefully, sometimes even adjusting to a British-style accent since the British colonized Ghana. The vowel sounds—a, e, o—aren’t pronounced the same as in American English.
At times, locals frown or withdraw because they struggle to understand my English. And surprisingly, that has been a gift. It’s taught me to talk less and listen more. What once felt like a challenge has become a powerful lesson: living abroad can shape you into a better listener, a better communicator, and ultimately, a more connected human being.
“The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t said.” – Peter Drucker
Being a good listener isn’t just about hearing words—it’s also about reading body language and picking up on nonverbal cues. You’ve probably noticed this in your everyday life. Take, for instance, a small experience I had in Ghana.
My husband and I would often stop by a neighborhood provision store. The young lady who works there is usually friendly, especially when I attempt to greet her in Twi. But one morning, something felt off. She didn’t greet me, and her entire demeanor was different. Curious, I asked her why. She explained that I hadn’t greeted her when I entered the store.
Coming from Western culture, that felt backward to me. However, as I continued studying “Basic Twi For Learners” (Asante) by J. Yeboa-Dankwa,
“Greetings are very important aspects of all Ghanaians, especially the Akans (Twi and Fante). If you meet a friend or someone and you pass by without greeting him, it may mean either you dislike him, hate him or bear him a grudge. (p.1)”
Hence, I realized that greetings hold deep cultural value. They are not just politeness—they are respect, acknowledgment, and connection. In that moment, I learned that listening also means paying attention to what isn’t said, to gestures, to tone, and to the cultural significance behind behaviors.
Living abroad forces you to slow down, to pay attention, and to become more aware of the unspoken language people use every day. And when you do, you connect more deeply—not just with individuals, but with the culture itself.
“If you make listening and observation your occupation, you will gain much more than you can by talk.”
– Robert Baden-Powell
Sometimes the greatest lessons come not from books but from watching the people around you. While honeymooning in Ghana (2019), I learn this every morning watching my husband’s then 83-year-old grandmother, lovingly known as Auntie Alice. She knows just as much English as I know Twi, yet her actions speak louder than words ever could.
Each day begins with clasp, clasp, clasp—the sound of her flip-flops on the two flights of tile stairs. Then thump, thump, thump—a knock at the door before she presents steaming hot cocoyams, rice with pea stew, peanut butter soup, or tomato stew by 8 a.m. sharp. Despite your protests, she refuses to accept money. After feeding you, she walks to the market on foot and by tro-tro, not just to shop, but to evangelize.
Observing her, I realize what consistent generosity and servant leadership look like. I find myself praying to be as active, as purposeful, and as giving when I reach her age. Auntie Alice’s life is a living testimony that leadership is service, and true communication is as much action as it is words.
Why Listening Matters in Travel
Paying attention to both verbal and nonverbal communication can shift how you think, process information, and approach life. Travel isn’t just about seeing new sights—it’s about experiencing people and cultures. When you listen with intention, you learn the heartbeat of a place. You hear stories behind the landmarks, wisdom behind the traditions, and passion behind the food and art. Listening transforms you from a tourist into a traveler, and from a traveler into a storyteller.
If you’re ready to go beyond sightseeing and truly experience your next destination, let’s create a journey tailored to you. My custom travel itineraries are designed to immerse you in culture, history, and unforgettable encounters—so you don’t just visit a place, you connect with it. Discover how listening, learning, and traveling with intention can transform not only your trip—but your life. Let’s start planning your custom itinerary today.
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I just recently had a situation where I realized I need to listen with intent to understand instead to reply and I also realized that I cut people off during conversation. I need to observe more and pay attention to verbal and nonverbal communication when I’m communicating. This is a great lesson. Thank you!!
Yes, good listening skills are important in every aspect of life. The first step to becoming a better listener is openly admitting you struggle with listening. Now, sincerely ask someone how they are doing at work, home or play? Listen to them with your eyes and ears. Don’t contribute anything to the conversation about yourself unless asked and if so, let your reply be brief instead of giving a thorough explanation of your life. Once the conversation is over and you’re alone, ask yourself what did you take away from the conversation about the individual? I’m definitely a work in progress in this area. Here’s to growing together. Thanks for reading and your reply.
Another great post. These are lessons that lead to greatness. Thanks for sharing. Finding myself. Discovering new ways of thinking, living, and working!!!
Thank you for reading ALL my post Pastor. I’m extremely honored!