I hate to admit it……
but I’m addicted to sidetracking.
I have grandiose ideas. Brainstorming, strategizing, and setting goals is my thing, meticulously developing elaborate plans to accomplish my visions.
The problem is I prolong the completion unless there is a hard and fast deadline.
For example, in December 2018, I planned to read four specific “purpose” books in January of this year.
It’s September, and I’m only on book number three. I read The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho in July. Began reading Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl in August. I’m currently on the third book, The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. It’s a 12-week workbook. The fourth book is titled Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren. I started reading it yesterday which is a devotional style book that should be read over 40 days.
On the other hand, I’ve read eighteen books (plus around twenty books in the Bible, give or take).
No matter, it’s just another form of sidetracking.
Dictionary.com defines sidetracking as divert(ing) away from a central issue or previously determined plan.
Hand raised, that’s me.
I finish, but for some reason, I take longer than necessary to complete the task at hand.
It took me ten years to obtain a 4-year bachelor’s degree. Friends and family thought I was graduating with a doctorate.
My name is C. Michelle, and I am addicted to sidetracking.
Case in point, we took a trip to Dubai for our weekly date.
Of course, I planned the outing. Go to one of the many malls, do some shopping, eat some American fare, go to Dubai Frame and Jumeirah Beach.
Well, I spotted a movie theater in the mall and wanted to add the movies to our Dubai outing.
Daniel responded we didn’t plan to go to the movies.
Why do we have to plan to go to the movies?
The movie theater is right there within walking distance, inside the mall.
We’re in the mall.
At the moment, I was a little upset.
Now (as I write this post) I realize the importance of his rational.
We have to stick to the plan to finish what we started. In other words, stay focus.
A two to three-hour movie would have made for an exceptionally long day and possibly deterred us from visiting Dubai Frame and Jumeirah Beach.
There are only 24 hours in the day, and you can only do so much in one day.
Could there possibly be a cure for me?
In the book “How to Win Friends and Influence People,” Dale Carnegie shares several stories about how praise motivate people. He cited Charles Schwab, American investor, financial executive, philanthropist and founder of Charles Schwab Corporation saying:
“I consider my ability to arouse enthusiasm among my people the greatest assest I possess, and the way to develop the best that is in a person is by appreciation and encouragement“
I couldn’t agree more with Mr. Carnegie and Mr. Schwab. I’ve noticed how words of encouragement move me. Hence, my internal alarm clock waking me up at 4 AM.
I found pleasure in video messaging Daniel each morning to report I ran around the mosque and completed my daily ab exercises while glistening with liquid fat.
He’d reply with a return video message showering me with praise making my heart flutter,
“Good job,” and
“Keep it up.”
And when he takes notice of a body part that’s a little tighter, firmer, or toner, fireworks are going off inside my body.
I genuinely find pleasure in his compliments.
Daniel is inadvertently practicing positive reinforcement on me.
PositivePsychology.com states “
Positive reinforcement refers to the introduction of a desirable or pleasant stimulus (praise/appreciation/encouragement) after a behavior (exercise). The desirable stimulus (praise) reinforces the behavior (exercise), making it more likely that the behavior (exercise) will reoccur.”
PositivePsychology.com explains a version of positive reinforcement called token reinforcers.
“Token reinforcers: those that are awarded for performing certain behaviors and can be exchanged for something of value“
For example, upon completion of the purpose books in January, I could have treated myself to a day at the hammam or even something simple as a henna tattoo. Token reinforcement provides an incentive to get stuff done.
Now to put my findings into action:
If I read the Artist Way & the Purpose Driven Life (performing certain behaviors) by Thanksgiving weekend, I’ll treat myself to an Oman boat cruise (reward).
Hopefully, token reinforcement will stop me from being addicted to sidetracking. I’ll make sure to report my findings
This new way of living will aid me in reaching the highest, truest, fullest expression of myself. Join me in “finding yourself,” and discovering new ways of thinking, new ways of living, and new ways of working. You’re invited!
24 You know that in a race all the runners run, but only one runner gets the prize. So run like that. Run to win! 25 All who compete in the games use strict training. They do this so that they can win a prize—one that doesn’t last. But our prize is one that will last forever. 26 So I run like someone who has a goal. I fight like a boxer who is hitting something, not just the air. 27 It is my own body I fight to make it do what I want. I do this so that I won’t miss getting the prize myself after telling others about it.1 Corinthians 9: 24-27
Are you addicted to sidetracking? Do you use positive reinforcement to get things done?