Life Lessons

How Badly Do You Really Want It?

“A hero is someone born into a world where they do not fit in. They are then summoned on a call to an adventure they are reluctant to take. What is the adventure? A revolutionary transformation of self. The final goal is to find the elixir, the magic potion that is the answer to unlocking her. Then she comes home to this ordinary life transformed and shares her story of survival with others.”

Chapter 1, Running


How Badly Do You Really Want It? I didn’t listen to one memoir this past week but two: Finding Me by Viola Davis & Will by Will Smith. Both audiobooks talk about transformation, reinvention, reconstruction, and rebirth of self. The opening quote from Mrs. Davis’s book explains it all. These are my type of books. I could not stop listening to either. The actors bought their stories to life with voiceovers and sound effects. They were raw, transparent, and inspiring.

Mrs. Davis’s life story melted my heart and motivated me at the same time. It was a true wake-up call to continue pursuing my purpose and passion.

I was sitting in my studio apartment thinking to myself, “I haven’t done enough.”

This woman overcame abject poverty, abuse (mental, physical, sexual, emotional, verbal), racism, colorism, shame, and bullying.

Just to name a few.

She said it herself, her family was not poor but “po” – dilapidated housing, rodent infestation, food insecurity, more month than money.

Her childhood was bleak, to say the least.

But God!

She didn’t allow the life she was born into or society to stop her from finding the real Viola – her voice and her purpose.

How Badly Do You Really Want It?

I consider “life trauma or suffering” to be life’s way of asking “how badly do you really want it?”

So what do you do when there appears to be no way of escape?

I’m sure this is not the answer you were expecting but I’m going to give it to you anyway.

You must apply faith.

[“Finding Me” Spoiler Alert]

Mrs. Viola believed her older sister Diane. Diane told five-year-old Viola,

“You need to have a really clear idea of how you’re going to make it out if you don’t want to be poor for the rest of your life.”

Chapter 3, Central Falls

And it stuck.

She believed that without a shadow of a doubt that she could escape the generational curse of poverty.

If 5-year-old Viola made up her mind to change her life circumstances, ask yourself (fill in the blank) year-old self “how badly do you really want it?”

Child-like Faith

Unfortunately, as you grow older, it seems as though your faith dwindles.

Too many sufferings, setbacks, or trials and tribulations cause you automatically to go negative.

You take on a victim mentality instead of a victor mentality. You began to ask yourself “why do bad things always happen to me?”

Change that.

Instead, reprogram your mind to go to the positive.

Immediately think of why it’s possible.

Nothing is happening TO you, everything is happening FOR you.

In addition, seek out the life lesson from the situation.

Ask yourself how can I use this setback for a setup.

If There Is A Will, There Is A Way

After all of life’s trauma, Mrs. Davis went on to graduate from Julliard Acting School, recognized as one of the best drama, music, and dance schools in the world. She is also recognized as the first black actress to achieve the Triple Crown of Acting, having won an Academy Award, an Emmy Award, and two Tony awards.

I loved how Apostle Paul explains suffering in a letter to the Romans,

For I consider [from the standpoint of faith] that the sufferings of the present life are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is about to be revealed to us and in us!

Romans 8:18, AMP

If you take on a conqueror point of view, life suffering can bring out your best potential.

You just have to decide “how badly do you really want it?”

Allow me to give you some practical advice.

  1. Write down clearly what it is that you want to happen.
  2. Have a visual of what you want.
  3. Keep that visual before you. Let it be the first thing you see when you wake up and the last thing you see before going to bed.
  4. Act as if. In the words of Bishop T.D. Jakes, Get Ready! Get Ready! Get Ready!

True Stories

Story #1

I wanted to vacation in Dubai (UAE). So I put it on my vision board at the beginning of 2017. I looked at photos of Dubai and people vacationing in Dubai all the time. In July 2017, my apartment ceiling began to leak causing mold. I use that as a setup instead of a setback to finance my trip to Dubai. I got out of my lease. Sold all my belonging on Offer Up & Let Go. Moved in with a friend and paid off all my consumer debt including my car loan. I vacationed in Dubai for 2 weeks in December 2017. In December 2018, I moved to the UAE.

High Tea at Atmosphere Lounge in the Burj Khalifa

Story #2

In June 2019, I decided to get serious about becoming a Distinguished Toastmaster (DTM). I printed off a DTM certificate and added my name and the current President’s name. Pinned the certificate on my vision board and looked at it every day. I went to work connecting with the people in my club who could help me achieve my goal. In the midst of the global pandemic (June 29, 2020), I obtained DTM over 7,500 miles away from my home club.

If there is a will, there is a way and it doesn’t take all day.

You have to determine “how badly you really want it.”

To Be Spoken Boldly

Born To T.H.R.I.V.E. | It’s A Lifestyle

  1. Is F.E.A.R. holding you back from living your best life? Download 7 Practical Steps To Overcome F.E.A.R.
  2. Join me in “finding yourself”, and take a leap of faith to think, live and work differently.
  3. You’re invited to the AWAKENED REALM Facebook Group! My goal is for everyone I associate with is thriving, in abundance, and limitless. Taken from the character Kelli in Insecure.
  4. Print the iT.H.R.I.V.E. one-pager and keep it visible next to your bed or workspace for encouragement.

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