Life Lessons

False Evidence Appearing Real = F.E.A.R.

Is it true? FEAR is false evidence appearing real?

In the photo below, the place of interest: Palamidi Castle, an old fortress that was built over three centuries ago.

The fortress sits on the top of a high hill. It provides spectacular views of the town and the surrounding area. To obtain this highly coveted view of the town, it’s “rumored” that one must climb 999 stairs to the top.

If I’m honest with myself (and you), I was frightened. My fear did not seem like false evidence appearing real in the present moment.

If you haven’t figured it out yet, I’m afraid of heights. As far as I can remember, my phobia of heights has been with me.

How I Overcame FEAR & Did Not Ruin A Beautiful Vacation?

First and foremost, I was on a 35-day trip to celebrate my 35th birthday in Nafplio, Greece.

Heights or not, I was determined to make the most of my birthday vacay and create fond memories.

I embarked upon the journey across town walking down narrow streets. Discovering picturesque squares at every turn. Easily, I could have changed my mind. Instead, I chose to motivate myself with self-talk. I gave myself confidence and permission to face & overcome fear.

I made it to step numero uno or νούμερο ένα in Greek. Terrified looking at the top of the hill where the fortress towered over the small city. I paced back and forth at the entrance. Gradually, the confidence from the self-talk kicked in.

I began my journey and came to a stopping point. Frozen by false evidence appearing real, I couldn’t go anymore.

Suddenly, an angel appeared.

His name?

I don’t remember.

What he look like?

I don’t remember.

Where he’s from?

I don’t remember.

But I do remember bits and pieces of our conversation:

  • As a part of his physical regimen, he walks up and down the steps.
  • He didn’t mind escorting me to the top and down.
  • He vacations in Nafplio for a month every year.

With his help, I made it to the top of Palamidi Castle.

It was very rewarding and not as frightening as it appeared.

Indeed, some fear is false evidence appearing real.

View at the top of the Palamidi Castle after I conquered "fear | false evidence appearing real"
View from the top of Palamidi Castle

The ONLY thing you have to FEAR is FEAR itself.

Franklin. D. Roosevelt

7 Steps To Overcome FEAR

From this experience, I’ve discovered 7 steps to help me overcome fear or false evidence appearing real which I’ve used time, and time again.

  1. Identify FEAR. What are you afraid of?
  2. Face The FEAR. What’s the worst-case scenario?
  3. Devise A Plan To Overcome The FEAR. What are the next best steps to overcome the fear?
  4. Ask For Help. Vulnerability can be your strength.
  5. Tell yourself, “Yes, I Can.” Create for yourself empowering affirmations to boost your inner confidence.
  6. Imagine Yourself Conquering FEAR. Visualize yourself doing the thing you are afraid to do.
  7. Work The Plan. Put into action the plan you devised in step 3.

Download 7 Practical Steps To Overcome F.E.A.R. Worksheet

By admitting what you are afraid of and intentionally (and somewhat aggressively) carrying out a plan to tackle your fear, you can overcome FEAR.

A scene from the Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade movie illustrates “overcoming fear” perfectly.

In Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, Jones faces a giant chasm. He could have accepted defeat and turned back. Thankfully, he chose to take a leap of faith.

Immediately, an invisible bridge (money/idea/resource/person) appeared.

In the words of NIKE slogan, “Just Do It.” Just like my angel, what you need will show up when you need it.

False Evidence Appearing Real: 5 Years Later

I’m still afraid of heights but in the words of Susan Jeffers, I feel the fear and do it anyway. Since conquering the Palamidi Castle, I’ve done some scary things (to me anyway). As I think over my life, especially since the global pandemic, I’ve been playing it too safe. I’ve become TOO comfortable.

It felt like 2020 was all about survival. How to make it out of 2020 alive? I was not living my life’s sermon which is to T.H.R.I.V.E. in spite of challenging times. Which leads to questions of self-reflection. Have I been living in fear subconsciously? What am I afraid of now? Failure? Success?

A Return To Love

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us….As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others (read below).

Excerpt from Marianne Williamson book

The Fear of Success

I think Marianne Williamson has a point. Similar to my fear of heights, I possibly have a fear of going higher in life. Who am I NOT to be “brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous (especially as I approach forty)? I pledge to myself to no longer fear tapping into my greatness and strengths. I’m sure this fear of success stems from so many experiences in my life that I have yet to process. Until then, I want to adhere to some rules that will liberate me from the fear of success.

My Rules For Success

1/ Don’t Always Choose The Path of Least Resistance.

Daniel said it best, I’m lazy. My two favorite words are automation and delegation. My favorite question: Is there an app for that? Technology has made our lives so much easier. I personally prefer a life of leisure but there is a time and place for everything. My lofty goals are not only going to require more of my leisure time but more effort as well. This is easier said than done which leads me to my next rule.

2/ Possess Personal Integrity.

Stephen Covey, the author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, defines personal integrity as the ability to make and keep commitments to ourselves. It’s a common practice, especially for women to prioritize our loved ones, jobs, and communities over our wellbeing, ambitions, and development. I’m getting better at this especially as it pertains to my physical and mental well-being. Last but not least,

3/ Build Your Inner Confidence.

People that know me may find this shocking. My sister says that I’m secure insecure. But I want to unapologetically learn to love every fiber of my being – physically, emotionally, and mentally. I want to show up every day as the authentic me. I know I’m a piece of work (Daniel can attest to that) but I want to unveil the masterpiece within. Marianne quoted Michelangelo saying “Every block of stone has a statue inside it and it is the task of the sculptor to discover it.” I’m committed to finding Chalanda Michelle daily.

What Do You Fear?

I would love to hear from you. Chime in the comments below.

Born To T.H.R.I.V.E. | It’s A Lifestyle

  1. Is F.E.A.R. holding you back from living your best life? Download 7 Practical Steps To Overcome F.E.A.R.
  2. Join me in “finding yourself”, and take a leap of faith to think, live and work differently.
  3. You’re invited to the AWAKENED REALM Facebook Group! My goal is for everyone I associate with is thriving, in abundance, and limitless. Taken from the character Kelli in Insecure.
  4. Print the iT.H.R.I.V.E. one-pager and keep it visible next to your bed or workspace for encouragement.
  5. International travel is a proven method to build confidence and conquer fear. Join the Dubai & Beyond or Ghana Crossover Trip.


  • Dreka

    I am very proud of you, you are a true example of what overcoming fear looks like. Keep living your dreams and know that your baby cousin supports you every step of the way. Love you😘

  • Charlesetta (Zetta) Wilson-Glover

    Your story is so INSPIRING and I’m not going to let fear control me anymore!!. The false evidence appearing to be real totally controlled my mind, life and kept me from accomplishing many things. Today on my 42nd bday I have to make a change for a better me and I have to start by: New ways of thinking, living and working!! Thank you.

  • Deanna Chandler

    Landa your testimony of fear is a blessing to me. What ever you doing.keep up the good work. I’m so proud of you Boo. Be safe and I love you so dearly. MAUH😘

    • Dr. Gloria Nixon-Pone

      Fear is the great teacher!

      I have come to experience born sides of the Two Faces of FEAR.
      I have been taught, Two Equally important life lessons:’
      1. What to do
      2. What NOT to do
      Become a Progressive student in life, today!

  • Shavondra Chandler

    I love this. I really live by this everyday and trying to teach my son the same ropes of life. This is very inspiring thank you cousin, we love you dearly.

  • Thomas Dixon

    Hello my friend! Great to hear from you and know you are growing from ‘Good 2 GREAT!’ This post is indeed inspiring. Persist … the closer you get to your Purpose; your Divine Dream; the more fear will try to influence your decisions. But your faith is greater than the fear. One of my mentors helped me reshape my perspective on fear. He says fear is like a yield sign. It means pause and ensure the situation is not a danger that necessitates stopping. Then proceed with caution. Fear is actually there to serve us, but we should never become servant to it. 💜

  • Dr. F. Tucker-Lively

    Powerful on so many levels. From the importance of silencing the fear and doubt voices in your head to the significance of taking one step at a time (moving forward). Thank you for sharing your experience and the beautiful view from the top. Priceless!


      Thank you for your comment. Daily, I have to overcome fears (some new, some old). My plan is to eradicate my fears.

  • Vivi White

    Hey Baby Girl,
    I am so very proud of you and courage. I knew you were fierce but I didn’t know how fierce. You wow me!
    Take good care and my prayers and thoughts are always with you.
    Congratulations, you could have told me! I consider you a sister/friend for life.

  • Kaba

    Je trouve ça incroyable que tu ai pu dépasser tes peurs au nom de l’aventure
    Bonne continuation pour ton blog ❤️

  • Katie

    I loved your true life experience and was inspired. Thank you Michelle, I knew you was adventurous but I know more about the extent of it!! Keep on trucking baby!! Katie

  • Monica H

    Wonderful post! Fear is a huge hindrance in the lesson of life. I am glad, you are providing such insight and encouragement! So proud of you and your accomplishments, you’re truly an inspiration.

    • Chalanda Michelle Asamoah

      Thank you, Monica! It’s still an ongoing battle. I conquer fear each day. Fear of heights, fear of judgment, fear of failure, fear of success. As my post indicated, I’ve taken on the Nike slogan, “Just Do It.” Thanks again for reading and commenting.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *